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If you thought the weather we're having here is bad, you should book yourself a flight and some overground travel to the remote village of Oymyakon in northern Russia. The cold there means that mobiles phones don't work and the live off a diet of reindeer meat and horse meat (put that into perspective. On that not, if you are buying beef burgers you should get beef burgers. But I've eaten horse and it honestly tastes the same. Sort of like frogs legs tasting of chicken, which they do.) but they never suffer malnutrition despite not being able to grown anything High protein diet, I bet all the girls around there squat, BRO. The cold is so intense that the locals leave their cars running 24/7 for fear of them never starting again if the engine cools down.



And worst of all, they still have outhouses. Now, what is the temperature that these unlucky folk of Oymyakon have to deal with? In January the AVERAGE temperature is...

Drum roll please.

-50°C.



-50°C and going to the loo, OUTSIDE! Think about that the next time you sit on the loo for 10 minutes before dropping trou so the seat is nice and warm when you touch down. If you think -50 is bad, the lowest temperature ever recorded in Oymyakon was -70.1°C. Now I have no idea if any of you hav ever worked in a kitchen or hospitality, but walk-in freezers clock up a nice temp of -25°C. You may have nipped in and out to get some more turnips wearing your chef's whites and thought 'bit cold this!?'. Imagine getting battered and walking out of the pub and into a 1 mile long über freezer as you stumble home to take a dump outside and then drunkenly much on a horse meat kebab.

While all the above is pretty bad, to top it off the nearest town is a 2 day drive away (useless if your car has frozen to death) and burying their dead is a 3 day procedure as they have to THAW THE EARTH. There have been cases of peoples glasses freezing to their faces and at 750meters above sea level, day light hours range from 3 to 21 hour a day.

And I know what you're thinking, yes there are package holidays that will take you there.

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